Dear 16-year-old Mary-now-called-Casey:
Mom & dad never meant for you to think, all your life, that you were a hideous fat pig. You had that chunky phase, 12 thru 13, and they did get pretty fierce about your weight. They were operating out of fear combined with love, though, and didn’t ever intend for you to carry that psychic burden. Let it go, now, before it buries you.
Stop smoking now, so when you’re in your early 30s you don’t start noticing its effects, and then spend 15+ years trying to quit before finally accomplishing that feat. Quitting now will be the best thing ever.
Boys, and men, are going to behave like jerks most of the time when it comes to romance. For at least the next 40 years. Don’t think it’s you. It’s not. You can’t fix a guy, you can’t help a guy, you can’t be a lifeline for a guy. Throwing a lifeline will just haul you overboard. Be happy, be yourself, don’t sell yourself short.
Be glad you paid close attention, and did some important worst-case-scenario planning, during health-ed class this year. You’ll know what I’m talking about within two years. We’ll keep this one between ourselves, but know that I know it will galvanize your thinking for the rest of your life.
Stick with your dreams. Otherwise you’ll spend a few decades earning a living, but not really living your life.
Don’t fear fear. Fear unfocused anger more than fear. That unfocused anger will turn into depression and self-doubt if you let it. You have been warned.
That recurring dream you had when you were 10 years old about getting breast cancer? It will turn out to be foreshadowing. But you’ll run with that ball really hard down the field, and you’ll make a difference in at least a few lives other than your own.
That is truly the measure of a life well lived. Now go have adventures, never lose your sense of self, and know that you are heart-breakingly beautiful no matter what anyone else might try to make you believe…
Love,
Casey-who-was-once-known-as-Mary
