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After spending [redacted] years in network news, covering every Presidential race from 1980 to 2004, my level of exhaustion and cynicism when it comes to politics is … epic. I vote in every election, because dammit-that’s-my-right-as-a-citizen, but often it’s a case of holding my nose and doing the best I can with the (rotten) choices I’m offered.

When I was invited to Capitol Hill last Tuesday, Dec. 13, to be in the room when a new Make Congress Work initiative was announced, I accepted with some of that exhaustion and cynicism. But like the old news warhorse I am, I saddled up and rode up I-95 to see what I could see.

What I saw made me feel like someone who’s been wandering in the wilderness for … ever, who stumbles upon a tidy little town that welcomes the weary wanderer with open arms. And gives her a job: help spread the news about the tidy little town. Help it grow into a big ol’ city.

So think of this as metaphorical political tourism. You can come along on the trip and enjoy the scenery with me.

Oh, come on, work with me, people. I’m a writer, and sometimes a comedian. I’ll bring this all home, I promise.

Here’s what happened: over 400 people showed up in the Caucus Room at the Cannon House Office Building to talk with, and listen to, a literal parade of bipartisan leaders from all points of the political compass.

The point? To break the chains of gridlock that have the folks we elected to represent us in a constant state of get-nothing-done.

That point was tidily contained in a 12-point plan to literally make Congress work. For its pay, for its privileges, and most importantly for the CITIZENS THAT ELECTED THEM TO OFFICE.

OK, I’ll stop shouting. I just get excited at the idea of those do-nothings actually doing something.

Here are the 12 points:

1. No budget, no pay. [This is a personal favorite. If I don’t produce for my clients, I don’t get paid. Why should Congress?]
2. Up-or-down vote on Presidential appointments. [Must vote within 90 days. No vote? Confirmed by default!]
3. Fix the filibuster. [Sentimental memories of Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington are Hollywood fiction. What really happens is a process hijacking. It has to end in order for the business of our country to move forward.]
4. Empower the sensible majority. [Simply stated: don’t let the wing-nuts run away with the game.]
5. Make members come to work. [Love this one. They quote Woody Allen: 90% of life is just showing up. So … SHOW UP.]
6. Question time for the President. [Britain’s Parliament has Q&A sessions, in public, with the Prime Minister. As should the President and Congress. Just sayin’ … ]
7. Fiscal report to Congress: Hear it. Read it. Sign it. [The Comptroller General should give a where-we’re-at report annually. With real numbers. What a concept.]
8. No pledge but the oath of office. [LOVE THIS. Grover Norquist and his ilk can go sit down and shut up.]
9. Monthly bi-partisan gatherings. [It’s harder to demonize or vilify someone you actually know. ‘Nuf said.]
10. Bi-partisan seating. [Sitting next to a member of the opposition makes you a little less likely to call him/her a dirtbag. Really.]
11. Bi-partisan Leadership Committee. [No more R or D pep rallies. Leadership means making progress, even when the going gets tough.]
12. No negative campaigns against incumbents. [What this means is that Senator Whoever with an R after his/her name can’t campaign against Senator Whichever with a D after his/her name. Stop the attack-ad insanity.]

Want to come hang out in the tidy little town? Join the No Labels movement. Share the message on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, skywriting, cave painting, whatever.

Let’s make this tidy town a bustling city. And get Congress to work for US for a change.

That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it …

(c) 2011 Walt Handelsman | Newsday

Heaving scrums from coast to coast are occupying public squares to protest what seems to be the greatest concentration of personal wealth since the Gilded Age at the end of the 19th century. Their ire is directed at Wall Street, which does bear some of the blame for the epic meltdown of the US – and global – economy over the last four years.

The biggest share of the blame, however, really belongs on another street entirely: K Street. The street of lobbying dreams, chock full of high-dollar law and PR firms that work Capitol Hill relentlessly on behalf of everything from AARP to zoologists.

Individual taxpayers have no access to K Steet influence, unless they’re members of an interest group – like the aforementioned AARP – that has enough chedda to hire a lobbying firm.

Congress, both the House and the Senate, depend on special interest money to mount successful election campaigns.

The electorate – the taxpayers, we individual voters who head to the polls to hold our noses and do the best we can with the choices offered – are offered those choices for national office based on who can raise the most money, and spend it to get our attention.

And now that corporations are people – thank you, Citizens United – they are under no restraint whatsoever when it comes to political donations.

Have you completed the calculation yet? Here’s what it boils down to:

Corporate $ + K Street (Congress) = We’re Screwed

That may seem simplistic, but it captures the essence.

Do not mistake me – I am a capitalist. I believe that every citizen – including corporate ones – has the right to appeal on behalf of his or her interests to elected officials. Where we find ourselves today, though, is at a very broken place.

Most Americans see their financial futures as, if not stormy, at least cloudy with a chance of bankruptcy. They see their children’s future prospects sinking, since the college degree required for an entry level corporate gig will now saddle those kids with a level of debt that will keep them living on ramen noodles well into their 30s.

How does the American Dream work in that scenario? How does hard work – to get a degree, to start a career, to start a business – actually work to advance your cause if most of the marketplace is on the ragged edge of broke?

A commitment to re-tooling our educational system to a 21st century model (instead of the 19th century “train factory workers” model currently in place) and a simultaneous commitment to bringing our national infrastructure up to date would be a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, the occupants of Capitol Hill are more interested in bleating about the lack of jobs than actually creating jobs by taking those actions.

We have a broken bureaucratic biosphere, and we’re choking on sewage. The gridlock on Capitol Hill has reached Nero-with-a-fiddle proportions, with no progress in sight on any issue. Congress isn’t actively doing anything other than saying why it can’t (won’t?) do anything, and we’re at a statis point until the 2012 election … ?

What’s missing here is balance. There has to be a balance struck between totally unrestrained free markets – can you say Enron? – and government redistribution of wealth via the tax system. There has to be a balance struck between “do for yourself” and a safety net for the most helpless among us.

The only path that I see to that balance is term limits … for Congress. They were real good at setting term limits on the occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue: two terms, yer out. Winning a House or a Senate seat, however, can mean lifetime employment as long as you can keep getting re-elected.

Even if you can’t keep getting re-elected ad infinitum, you can take advantage of the revolving door connecting the US Capitol to K Street.

The real problem? The folks who have to draft and pass term limits legislation are … Congress. Yeah, they’d have to stamp themselves with expiration dates. Which they are demonstrably loath to do.

And their re-election ad campaigns – financed largely by their buddies on K Street and their pals in state capitals across the land – will work hard to scare us into the horrors that will befall us should we fail to vote them back in to “finish the job.” Which “job” is likely to be more gridlock, followed by another round of “re-elect me to finish the job.

A quote attributed to Winston Churchill says that “America will always do the right thing, but only after exhausting all other options.”

I hope we are about to exhaust the last of our options before demanding that Congress actually conduct the business of the people. Let’s occupy K Street to help drive that message home.

That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it …